Our Song Read online

  Advance praise for Our Song:

  ‘Our Song is exceptional, touching and powerful. Dani Atkins has real talent and has created such unique and memorable characters. I am a fan for life’

  Michelle Russell

  ‘I’m still trying to recover from finishing Our Song! I was sobbing my heart out!! Fantastic book about two friends that lost their way and found immense courage and strength within them to knit their friendship together again’

  Suzy Eales

  ‘One of the best things I have ever read. I completely fell in love with this book and have been recommending it to all my friends! A real weepie, but full of hope too. Amazing’

  Hannah Morris

  ‘A truly poignant story which intertwines the lives of four different people. Dani’s writing captivates the reader from the very beginning, allowing you to identify with and care about the characters as the plot develops. A thoroughly enjoyable read’

  Rachael Harris

  ‘Pure escapism . . . Dani has a way of writing so that you see and feel everything. This was a truly captivating story, impossible to put down’

  Louise Jarvis

  ‘One of the most absorbing books I’ve read for a very long time. Dani has a special ability to make you feel like you are part of the story – something not many writers achieve’

  Michelle Wilson

  ‘Our Song had me hooked from the first page. Be prepared to cry your heart out’

  Patricia Saich

  ‘I was captivated from page one by the spectrum of emotions this novel provokes, with the twists and turns that fate delivers Ally, Joe, Charlotte and David. As the story cleverly unravels you will become addicted and the characters will stay with you long after you have read the last page. I didn’t think Dani Atkins could eclipse Fractured but she has!’

  Helen Nellist

  ‘Captivating from the first page. An emotional heart-wrenching roller-coaster throughout – tissues a must!’

  Zoë Braycotton

  ‘Our Song is a beautifully written, powerful and emotive love story that will have you reaching for the tissues, and wanting to get to the end without ever wanting it to finish. I loved, loved, loved it!’

  Julie de Mattia

  ‘A captivating journey through the interweaving lives of Ally, Charlotte, David and Joe, as their story of love, tragedy, reconciliation and hope unfolds and tugs at your heart strings. Our Song is one of those rare gems of a story that linger and radiate in your mind long after you have finished the last page. Another masterpiece from Dani’

  Denise Kanetti

  ‘She’s done it again! Another masterpiece by Dani Atkins! A put-your-life-on-hold, intoxicatingly addictive read that leaves you in total awe of Dani’s ability to convey the complexity of raw human emotion in a way that draws you in, making you feel as if the story were actually happening to you! Amazing!’

  Becky Davies

  ‘We get to know the characters intimately, and then Dani confronts us with incidents no one would wish to face. Having held our hands through all this, she delivers a punch to the stomach with a final heart-wrenching twist. What a brilliant book, and one which I will be thinking about for a long time’

  Prue Stopford

  ‘I was captivated from the beginning, hanging on by my fingernails as the story rollercoasted to a tear-jerking conclusion. I was unprepared for the depth of emotions Dani made me feel. A must read’

  Nadia Donnelly

  Praise from Good Housekeeping readers:

  ‘I enjoyed this book totally and was very moved with the ending. I would highly recommend’

  ‘This was a lovely, charming and moving story that held me gripped pretty much from start to finish. I didn’t know the author before but like her style and will definitely look out for other books by her. I’m really pleased that I was able to discover her work’

  ‘This was one of the best books I have read for some time. The story was believable with a very moving ending – glad I had a box of tissues handy! A really gripping story which I would have no hesitation in recommending’

  ‘I loved this book and it is the best thing I have read this year. I have already recommended it to a friend and downloaded some more of the author’s titles’

  First published in Great Britain by Simon & Schuster UK Ltd, 2016

  A CBS COMPANY

  Copyright © Dani Atkins, 2016

  This book is copyright under the Berne Convention.

  No reproduction without permission.

  ® and © 1997 Simon & Schuster, Inc. All rights reserved.

  The right of Dani Atkins to be identified as author of this work has been asserted in accordance with sections 77 and 78 of the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act, 1988.

  Simon & Schuster UK Ltd

  1st Floor

  222 Gray’s Inn Road

  London WC1X 8HB

  www.simonandschuster.co.uk

  Simon & Schuster Australia, Sydney

  Simon & Schuster India, New Delhi

  A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library

  Paperback ISBN: 978-1-4711-4224-6

  Trade Paperback ISBN: 978-1-4711-5329-7

  eBook ISBN: 978-1-4711-4767-8

  This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either a product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual people living or dead, events or locales is entirely coincidental.

  Typeset in the UK by Hewer Text UK Ltd, Edinburgh

  Printed and bound in Great Britain by CPI Group (UK) Ltd, Croydon, CR0 4YY

  Simon & Schuster UK Ltd are committed to sourcing paper that is made from wood grown in sustainable forests and supports the Forest Stewardship Council, the leading international forest certification organisation. Our books displaying the FSC logo are printed on FSC certified paper.

  To Ralph,

  For being the music to my song

  Contents

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Epilogue

  Acknowledgements

  Chapter 1

  There were many things that might have changed the eventual outcome of that night.

  He could have taken his car to work, instead of leaving it for his wife to use. But then she wouldn’t have made it to the school Christmas concert on time. And he knew how important it was for Jake to have at least one parent in the audience when he made his stage debut in the Nativity play. He was that kind of father.

  He could have gone to the pub with the other tradesmen. But if it came to a contest between spending time drinking with his workmates, or going home to his beautiful wife, there was no choice. None at all. Even after seven years of marriage he never wanted to miss a single moment of time that could be spent with her. He never would. He was that kind of husband.

  He could have ignored the children’s pleas for help as he crossed the parkland. He could have told them their dog would find its own way back to safety from the middle of the frozen lake. But once he’d seen the look of terror on the animal’s face, as it struggled to pull itself out of the hole, he knew he’d have to rescue it. He was that kind of man.

  The girl couldn’t have been more than nine years old; the boy looked even younger than his son Jake. They had burst through the trees beside the pathway like two barrelling cannonballs, grabbing on to him and talking, or rather shouting, incoherently For one crazy moment, he thought they were trying to rob him. He even imagined him
self going home and telling his wife that he’d been mugged by some primary-school children, and by the way, darling, how was your day? But it wasn’t his money they were after, he quickly realised that, although for several moments he was no closer to understanding what they did want of him, because they were both crying hysterically.

  ‘Whoa, slow down there. What’s wrong?’ he asked, directing his question at the young girl.

  ‘Please, can you help us? Marty and Todd are in trouble. Can you come?’ The girl was tugging on his arm and trying to pull him off the path and through the narrow copse of snow-covered trees. The man knew this park well, he’d visited it many times as a child, played football matches here as a teenager, and used it regularly as a shortcut to and from the housing development site where he was currently working. There was nothing beyond the trees except a large boating lake which bordered the park. He felt a chill run through him that had nothing to do with the falling temperature.

  ‘Calm down,’ he instructed, resisting the surprisingly strong pull on his arm. ‘Take a breath, tell me what happened. Who are Marty and Todd, and where are they?’

  The girl answered, tears coursing down her face as she spoke so fast it seemed as though each word had run straight into the back of the one which came before, like a verbal pile-up.

  ‘Marty is our big brother. We were playing with Todd by the lake, and I told Marty that it wasn’t safe, but he said it was okay and then Todd ran backwards and he ended up in the middle of the lake and it was okay for a minute because it’s all frozen over but then it cracked and he fell in and he couldn’t get out, so Marty went to help him, and then he fell in as well.’

  ‘Show me where they are,’ the man commanded, already breaking into a run and heading towards the trees. The children, slightly calmer now they’d found an adult to take charge of the situation, were close at his heels. ‘Are you here with anyone, a parent or someone?’ he asked, his words emerging sharp and staccato from his mouth, accompanied by a cloud of billowing vapour. Mentally he was already berating the adults who had allowed these children to be in such danger. He would never in a million years let Jake go to the park without either of them being with him. His over-protectiveness drove his wife crazy at times, but just look what could happen when you let them go out by themselves. They ended up falling into a frozen lake.

  Hang on, boys, the man silently urged. I’m coming.

  The man burst through the trees and onto the edge of the frozen lake. Instinctively he threw both arms out to either side and braced them, to prevent the children running alongside him from skidding down the small snowy incline and onto the ice.

  ‘There they are!’ exclaimed the girl, extending a trembling arm as she indicated two spots some fifteen metres from where they stood, where the thin ice had cracked open and Marty and Todd had slipped through into the freezing water.

  The man’s eyes darted between the two holes in the ice, rapidly assessing the situation. It was bad, but thankfully not as bad as he’d first feared. From the furthest hole there came a volley of short sharp yelping barks, as Todd saw the return of his human family. But it was the other hole that concerned the man, where a young boy, who looked about eleven years old, was struggling to keep his elbows on the edge of the precarious jagged rim of ice. He was crying and clearly terrified, yet he still kept glancing behind him at the other hole, where his pet was splashing in the freezing water, trying to stay afloat.

  ‘Hang on, son. Keep your elbows on the ice and try not to kick too much. I’m coming to get you,’ the man urged, pulling off his heavy parka jacket and throwing it down on the snow-covered bank.

  The boy’s face was alabaster-white with fear, the freckles on his nose, a distant memory of summer, stood out like brown splatters of paint on a blank canvas. ‘Pl-please get Todd f-first,’ the boy begged through chattering teeth. ‘He’s been in the water longer than me.’

  The man didn’t reply, not wanting to agitate the boy further, although he did spare another glance at the dog struggling frantically in the ice-cold water, trying to reach the jagged edges of the hole, which resembled razor-sharp teeth set in bone-white jaws. The jaws of death. The man shuddered.

  ‘People first, dogs second,’ he said as he stepped carefully off the bank with its powdery white snow, and onto the slippery glass-like surface of the water. Cautiously he lowered his weight onto one foot, preparing for instant retreat if the ice should groan or crack beneath him. It stayed silent and solid so he pressed on.

  Fifteen metres. It felt more like fifteen miles. After two or three steps he could feel a change beneath the soles of his heavy work-boots. What had initially felt skating-rink solid, now had a definite spongy spring beneath his weight. He paused, glanced back at the two children on the bank, and gave them a quick reassuring smile. Very slowly he lowered himself down, first into a crouch, then onto all fours before finally sliding forward until he was completely horizontal on the ice. Spread the weight, he told himself, rapidly trying to recall what other advice he might have picked up over the years for people attempting this kind of thing. The only one that seemed to come to mind was: don’t do it. He blew the air noisily out through his mouth and gritted his teeth.

  He crawled slowly on his stomach to the boy, fighting the urge to hurry, knowing the ice was capricious and cunningly deceitful. It felt like hours, but it could only have been minutes before he was close enough to grab hold of one of his woollen-mittened hands in his own.

  ‘Hold on tight,’ he instructed, wrapping his fingers firmly around the young boy’s bony wrists for better purchase. ‘We’ll have you out of there in no time.’ It was a promise he prayed he could keep. He braced himself, and even the dog fell silent, as though he too had realised the importance of the moment. The man pulled as hard as he could, trying to ignore the worry of dislocations or injury on the sharp edges of the ice. They could be fixed. If the boy slipped from his grip now and sank beneath the icy surface, he might be beyond his help.

  The boy flew out of the water like a fish on a line. From the bank he heard the younger children cheer in delight. The man gritted his teeth. They weren’t home free yet.

  ‘C-can we g-get Todd now?’

  The man shook his head briefly as he began to inch them backwards towards the bank. ‘Let’s get you back on land first. Then we’ll worry about your dog,’ he replied, hoping the lie would pacify the lad until he had got him to safety. The boy was a sodden dead weight, despite being thin and gangly. There was no flesh on him, and the danger of hypothermia in a body this slight was all too real.

  There were very few moments in his life when the man had felt such relief as he did when he finally pulled the boy off the ice. Perhaps the closest had been in the delivery room, when he was told the two people he cared about most in the world were alright. The man plucked up his thickly quilted coat and wrapped it around the shivering boy, rubbing his hands briskly up and down the length of his quivering frame, to bring back the circulation.

  ‘Are you okay? Can you breathe alright? Is anything hurt?’ the man questioned, already pulling his phone from the pocket of his quilted jacket.

  ‘No. Just cold,’ said the boy through blue-tinged lips. ‘Thank you. You’re going back for Todd now, aren’t you?’

  The call connected to the emergency services, and he held up his hand to stall his reply as he requested an ambulance. But his eyes gave away his answer unknowingly. He always had been a terrible liar. The two younger children huddled around their brother, all three looking towards the remaining member of their family, who was still in peril. They spoke hurriedly in urgent whispers, yet still the man was slow to realise what was happening. It was only when he saw Marty shrug off his enveloping coat that he realised his intentions.

  ‘You’re not going to help Todd get out of the water, are you?’ the boy asked, his voice shaky. Three young faces looked up at him, each urgently pleading for him to deny it.

  ‘He’s a dog,’ the man said, already realising the f
utility in trying to make them understand.

  ‘Of course he’s a dog,’ replied the youngest child with a disparaging look, his voice scornful. ‘But you got Marty out, why can’t you get Todd?’

  Their eyes bored into him, like miniature Spanish Inquisitors. The man looked back to the ice and realised the animal’s valiant efforts seemed to be diminishing by the moment as he grew increasingly colder and weaker. Large chunks of ice broke off beneath his scrabbling paws whenever he got close to the edge, plunging him back into the freezing depths time and time again.

  ‘He’ll find his own way out,’ the man said, with a reassurance he did not feel. ‘Dogs are clever like that. Just give him a minute.’

  The boy he had just rescued looked at him with unmistakable disappointment. ‘You have to help him, or he’s going to drown or freeze to death,’ he declared, with dire and unshakeable certainty. ‘And if you’re not going to get him out, then I will.’ He moved towards the edge of the frozen lake.

  The man caught him easily. His cold bony body struggled against the restraining arm.

  ‘Or I will,’ said his determined sister, stepping much closer to the edge of the ice than was wise.

  ‘Or me,’ added the youngest.

  The man gave a sound of desperation. He could stop one of them, but not all three.

  ‘Todd!’ cried the wriggling boy in his arms. The children gasped in unison as their pet slipped beneath the surface of the water. After ten agonising seconds his small furry head reappeared, and that was the moment when the man knew he had no choice, because he’d seen the look of defeat in the animal’s eyes. He was giving up.

  ‘Damn it,’ muttered the man, looking around for another solution, another adult, another option, but there was none. He knew what he was about to do was a really bad idea, but what was the alternative? The ice had held him before, it would do so again. He hoped.

  He turned to the three children who were now all crying. He laid a strong and steady hand on the shoulders of the older two. ‘Okay. Listen carefully. I’m going to try and help Todd, but I will only do this on one condition.’ Three bobbing heads already promised they would gladly agree to whatever he asked of them. ‘No one, and I repeat no one is to take even so much as one single step onto this ice. No one except me. Is that understood? Whatever happens, you three are to stay right where you are until I get back. Promise?’ Their eyes were wide as marbles with terror, but once again they nodded. The man took one last hopeful glance over his shoulder, but he didn’t really expect to find anyone else walking by the lake at this time of day. He glanced skyward. It was going to be dark in less than fifteen minutes; if he was going to do this crazy thing at all, then he didn’t have much time.